Daily Prompt · Poetry

Eternity of Tomorrows

dancing-in-the-rain

Years later and I still remember that day with clarity
Her skin covered in soft raindrops as the sky turned grey
She smiled at me and ran to the streets
“Let’s dance in the rain,” she said giggling
I, stupidly and tremendously in love with this woman, hurried after her
We dance and laughed and for the first time, I kissed her
Shivering and cold, I tasted her lips and an eternity of tomorrows

Daily Post: Subdued

Photographer: Unknown

Daily Prompt · Memoirs of the Innocent

Shadows and Monsters

monster

Last night was the first time, in a long time, I slept with the lamp lights on. Monsters, they come in different forms, and always, they leap from the shadows. Unexpectedly, just when you thought you’re safe, they come out.

When sleeping, I prefer the dark, but last night was different. In the shadows, I could see the monster, one that has always been creeping behind the curtains. I’ve always known it was there, but it never showed itself until now. And just like that, the nightmare comes to life.

I drank a glass of vodka to calm my nerves. By midnight, my eyes were finally tired, from all the crying and my brain is trying to shut down. In the comfort of the small light from the lamp, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

At 2AM, the monster woke me up with a shake. A chill in my body pass through me, I turned off the AC, I stood up, but it didn’t go. I looked at my phone to check the time. Just two hours of sleep. I feel myself, no fever, but my bones were cold, from my shoulders down to my toes. I almost cried again but I stop. I will survive this night. I waited once more for sleep to come.

It was 7 the next day, the monster was still there. I thought I would open my eyes and it’ll be gone, but it’s not. It lurks behind my shadow, I feel it in my shoulders sitting. I see it when I close my eyes.

It won’t win. Sometimes, we need to face our greatest fears for reasons we won’t know until we win. I won’t let it win. I’ll light a candle to make amends of all the versions of me and pull the strength I have to win this battle. Because monsters, they belong under the bed, the outside world is not for them.

 

Daily Post: Candle

Daily Prompt

A Force to be Reckoned

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“Born in a thunderstorm, lightning was her earliest memory. Stories have been told that on her first cry, a thunder so strong shook the Earth. She smiled upon hearing the sound. She was named Rain, a name fit for a heroine. An original through her core, she was a force to be reckoned. Not even the strongest and scariest hurricane can wither her strength, she is its daughter after all.”

Daily Post: Original

Photo Credit: Rainbow Winters

Daily Prompt · Poetry

Flowers of Deceit

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Words were his ally, as it flows from his mouth
like flowers, they were sweet and sensible
Every day I wanted more of him and his lies
like flowers, they were beautiful, but only as long as it lived

His smile was the canvas of his deceit
Flattery was his weapon of choice, he speak no truth
He almost stole my heart, but I saw beyond his smile
A painting of pain and regrets, I don’t need that anymore

Daily Post: Flattery

Photo Credit: Image is Copyrighted by Orva Photography

Memoirs of the Innocent

When I Was Held at Gunpoint (and why I never really talk about it)

This is a true story. My friends and I were once held at gunpoint while two men robbed us. We never talked much about it. We didn’t report it to the police. We pretend that it never happened.

We were out late, sitting just outside our University, laughing and talking about everything in general. We didn’t talk much about the incident because every time we do, we were always stared down and asked why we stayed out so late? And were told, we should have known better. We never went to the police, because we just knew they were going to shake their heads and laugh at us.

Victim blaming. At that point, I was two months shy of turning 17 and victim blaming was not a familiar concept to me yet. Today, I have only had the epiphany that the shame I felt (and maybe my friends too) at that time is due to victim blaming. And yes, this has connection with what happened to Kim Kardashian.

When I first saw the news, I immediately had a flash back of that feeling of fear that crawled in my body that very night. I had chills and I felt very sorry for Kim, gagged and bound with a gun at her head – no, you would never wish that on anyone. If you do, you’ve never felt true fear. If you’re laughing, your sick. If you’re saying its her fault because she flaunted her wealth, you need to really look in the mirror right now and apologize to her and to yourself.

People often forget that we all have roles to play in someone else’s life. When I was 17 and held at gunpoint, I was a daughter to two loving parents, and so were my friends. We were all daughters and older sisters. I still remember the way the man held the gun and how he slowly pointed the gun at each one of us until he found my friend’s head and decided it will stay there while we scramble and gave him what we can reach.

I remember the flash of fear in my friend’s eyes. And I remember how slowly I processed everything. I thought the man was asking for directions until I saw the gun. I had to ask him twice what he wanted, before realizing we were actually getting robbed. His partner was riding the motorcycle, their getaway vehicle and he was watching things unfold.

When my friend, the one who had the gun at her head, and I got home, she lost it. She cried hysterically and melted to the floor. She was shaking and I stood there, frozen, I couldn’t even comfort her, because I was in shock too. It was like my being just floated away from my body and I stared into my friend in the floor and myself standing staring down at her.

Fear comes to your life in different forms. I got to know one that night, which I would never hope for anyone, even to my worst enemy. You never really get to know it until your life is in someone else’s hand – and that someone has every intention to take it away from you if you don’t follow what they say. A lot of things happen to you simultaneously. For me, I began thinking about my parents while I scrambled for my phone and wallet to give to the man (which he never took – thank god, because people across the street were finally realizing what was happening and was starting to make noise). Then came my voice, which sounded far and hollow. And then, there was my indifference. It’s a strange thing.

Lastly, there was the shame that came the next day. I never understood why I felt that until now, really. Victim blaming is not new to me anymore, but reading comments and tweets about the Kim event, was just unnerving. I couldn’t believe that people who has never been in danger in their life would laugh about something so serious and actually had the nerve to say, “it’s her fault.” That’s like saying, “she got raped because she wore a mini skirt or that because she was drunk.”

That’s when I realized why my friends and I never went to the police or even reported it to the University. We or maybe I never said it out loud but that was because we felt it was our fault for staying late outside the University where behind us, literally (and I mean that as literally as this is actually true), was the security guard’s office who never saw the incident because it happened so fast. Because there is a culture of victim blaming.  Instead of saying “people should not rob,” they say “you should have never done that.”

It’s so easy for people to say this in their computer as they sit down in their comfortable chair. There is something wrong with society, and we should change it by teaching our kids the right way.

Kim is a celebrity and it’s easy to forget that she’s a mother, a wife, a sister and a daughter. But she is. We all have roles in someone else’s life, think about yours and would you really want to leave that role because of senseless violence?

 


 

Sorry for the rant, if it felt like that. My experience with guns are bad, and it doesn’t feel right for people to blame victims nowadays. We should really try and be more sympathetic towards each other, because this is what makes us human after all.

Poetry · Songs

Where I Stood

where-i-stood

The above poetry is inspired by a song called Where I Stood by Missy Higgins. The song is a tale about having to let go of a lover even though she really doesn’t understand why, only that she knows she needs to go for herself. She then tells the lover that someone will love him more than she could ever have.

It’s a beautiful sad yet hopeful song. Listen to it if you haven’t yet.

Abu Dhabi Memories · Memoirs of the Innocent

A Confuse 20-Something on her Future Plans

It’s a beautiful Saturday in this part of the world. Winter is finally coming, and weather is finally bearable. Soon, I will be able to take a walk in one of the city’s famous walking park, the Corniche road.

I’m here in my bed right now, writing. I’m on for a three-day weekend, so yey! Did you know? Tomorrow is Islamic New Year, or they call it Hijri. The Islamic calendar uses the lunar calendar, so most of its celebrations have different dates every year as it depends on moon sighting. Last Wednesday, it was officially declared that the Hijri New Year will be on 2 October, so today, it their New Year’s Eve.

Once again, I was absent for a whole week from my blog. It has been a crazy week for me and it is only the beginning. As a hotelier, we have “pick-up seasons,” in our language, this means when our hotels are filling up. For leisure hotels (such as resorts), this is usually summer or autumn or when it is a good time for the beach (in this part of the world, summer is dead because it is sooooo hot, we can’t bear the heat). In the UAE, pick-up season starts in September all the way to March, this is because the weather here is just perfect!

People often ask me how the weather here, being that it’s a desert. Well, in summer, if we were made of plastic, we’d all have melted by now. We’d go up to 40-50 degrees Celsius, and because we’re a desert and we don’t have much trees here, the heat is much worse and the humidity! But in winter, we go down to 15 degrees Celsius. Now, for those of you who experience snow, that’s not impressive, I’m sure. We do have the Arabian Gulf and the wind is crazy, it gets so cold I won’t ever go out without a sweater on. The best month to visit the UAE (if you plan to) is in February-April, weather is not so cold but hot enough for the beautiful blue beaches here.

So anyway, yeah, it’s busy season now and I had to do so many things for all the promotions the hotel is doing right now.

I’ve been thinking about my future lately. My contract here will end in March and I’ve been thinking of not renewing it. In fact, I am 90% sure that I will no longer renew my contract with my employer here. Career-wise, it’s a smart move because I’ve been feeling stagnant here and I need to grow, so I’m looking for new challenges and landscape. To be honest, I don’t see myself growing here in the UAE, despite its hospitality.

I don’t have much options, I can either go home and look for a job there or put up my own business (which I would need capital for, which means I’ll probably take a loan but I’m not ready to commit to that yet), or go somewhere else to look for a job. Another option is that I take my Masteral degree somewhere abroad. I’m really leaning towards the latter but this is also going to cost me, so I’m going through scholarship funding, and it’s not easy at all! I don’t know where to start and I’m so confuse right now. I’ve always wanted to go back studying so I’m really hoping this option would work out for me.

Anyway, this is just my meandering mind once again. Hopefully, things will work out. I’m glad I have this three-day weekend to think things through and to write some entry here.

So, what do you think I should do? 🙂