Note to Self

When I Write

o-woman-writing-facebookDo you think you’re a different person when you write?

When I write, I feel like I become a different person, someone who is removed from my usual daily self. I become an observer of my actual self, and from there I draw inspiration for most of my works.

There is a vulnerability that I feel when I write. I am no longer me – I become someone whose soul is stripped naked for my own examination. Each emotion, whether it is happiness, sadness, anger or pain is under the scrutiny of the writer in me. I try to translate these complicated feelings into words but sometimes, it is an exhausting journey. It’s like chasing the ends of the horizon, no matter where you go, there will always be that thin line where the sky and earth kiss. It’s the same with words and emotions, sometimes; there are just not enough words. When this happen, the writer in me just stops and I transform back.

I guess this explains why for the longest time, I never marked my works with my own name. It’s not that I feel remove from it, rather, I feel like it is a different part of me that have mustered up the words to create poetry or stories or whatever it was that I worked on.

Recently, I’ve started to inked my name on my poetries, and it feels weird for me. I now understand why some people prefer to mark their works under a different name. Some of the world’s best writers have at one point stamped a pen name under their work. I can’t speak for them, but maybe, just maybe, they felt the same way that I did.

Well, this is a segue but I’ve also now understand what Beyonce meant when she said on stage, she was Sasha Fierce. Maybe we all have different personas, I don’t know. All I know is that when I write poetry, I give some of my biggest secrets to the world. My poetry is the stripped versions of me, the one that not everyone sees or meet.

So, have you ever felt like you transform to be someone else when you start writing?

Memoirs of the Innocent · Note to Self

The Good Karma

karma

I’ve always loved the word Karma. It’s short and simple, but it has a totally complex meaning – and a very deep one. Whether you believe in karma or not, its rule is basic and comes in different terms.

One of the more famous is

What comes around, goes around

But my personal favorite is the quote, “what you give is what you get.” One of the things that my parents taught me when I was younger is that whatever I give, it will come back to me ten times more. And that lesson still resonates to me and I truly believe that if I give something, without prejudice, it would come back to me in a better form.

This is the best form of Karma and I want to be able to live in a way that this karma follows me. It’s a matter of principles and if people only believe that whatever they give out to the universe comes back to them, we will have a better world.

One of the things I do is giving out positive energy around me. This hugely affects me and the people around me. And because the people around me can see all the positiveness, I can avoid a bad day. It’s a simple thing, I try my best to do that.

It’s like being in a bank. Whatever you deposit, it will be what you will be withdrawing. And if you’re only depositing bad attitudes and negative criticisms, you won’t be withdrawing smiles and thumbs up.

There are other ways of giving out without physically giving something. Be generous of your smiles, of your compliments and mostly, be generous to your self. Look in the mirror and give a shout out to yourself. It will immediately make you feel better.

So let’s make this world a better place in our own by remembering karma, whatever we give, is what we will get.

 

This post is inspired by today’s prompt, generous.

Note to Self

Looking Up

There is a reason why we look up at times of hopelessness. For there, in the vast infinite sky, whether painted in blue or lit up with star lights, is a a world we imagine where everything is nice and happy. We hold on to that thought, and that someday, maybe, we’ll get to that place. So we look up high, take a deep breathe and face the world, come what may.

Daily Prompt · Note to Self

The Flaw – Disappointment

 

We grieved over expectations not met and this is what makes disappointment a unique emotion. Over the course of our lives, we try our best to figure out the right labels we use for certain emotions that we feel.

When we get angry, we lash out.

When we get sad, we cry.

When we’re happy, we laugh, smile or even cry.

And when we get disappointment, it’s a mix of a little bit of everything – except happiness of course. Also, we react in different forms depending how a person cope with what happened.

I think that disappointment is an emotion that reveals a person’s flaw. It puts assumptions out in the open that sometimes we never even realize we have until that assumption is proven wrong. This place us in a situation that reveals our expectations and there in lies our flaw.

The thing is, when we do something for other people, we expect them to do the same for us.

“Do unto others what you want others do unto you.”

But, each person has a different spectrum of expectations, and sometimes, two people or a group people are just not on the same plane. We can’t really blame the other party for not reaching the bar – when sometimes, we don’t even know we had that bar in the first place.

We all get disappointed, I get disappointed. It took me awhile to really connect with that emotion and to at least get a grasp of understanding it. I’ve learned that sometimes, the amount of investment we put in a relationship is not the same amount the other party puts in.

And that’s okay, or at least I think it is. After a string of disappointments, a friend offered a very good advice:

Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

No expectations included. And yet, I’m flawed, no matter how many times I repeat that mantra to myself, there’s always a little bit of expectation somewhere, but this mantra does help in coping with the disappointment if it comes to that.

 

Daily Prompt: Disappointment

Daily Prompt · Note to Self

Being Iridescent

Flipped

 

We’re all iridescent in one way or another. When we are hit with the right light, we change our glows, to something brighter. What we need to do is find that right light to reach our souls and shine on it like never before.

Sometimes, for those who are lucky enough, the light finds them and often times, we seek for it. Eventually, when we are at a point in our lives when we are ready to embrace something new, the light comes naturally. Epiphany sets in and we realized, we have been liberated – even though, we were never caged from the start.

When we find ourselves in path of uncertainties, remember to be true to yourself. The answers will come when you dig deep within yourself, be genuine and let the iridescence part of you glow. Let light smash into it to create a burst of colors not just for you but for those who have been by your side.

There’s only one you and nothing beats an original.

 

Daily Prompt: Fake

Memoirs of the Innocent · Note to Self

Surrender to the Universe

When a door closes, a window opens.

If things are meant to happen, it will happen. The universe has a way of leading people to their dreams. Missed opportunities are just a way of letting us know that there are other options that might be better for us. A lot of us may think we know where we’re supposed to go but a lot of the time, we end up somewhere else.

One of my favorite quotes is from Calvin and Hobbes and it says,

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I needed to be.

This quote is very powerful to me because I always find myself in a position where I take a step back and actually look at where I am in my life. I would often think back to the times when I said that I should be married by 25 or that I should be successful in my career at 25 and other thoughts that I had when I was 15.

And this quote always keeps things in balance, because it is my reminder that there are things in store for me. I may not know what those things are and I don’t necessarily need it at the moment, but when it reveals itself, I know it’ll be  a great experience.

I never saw myself living in Abu Dhabi – where I don’t speak the language and the culture is oceans apart. Yet, here I am and I am loving the experience. It’s not sunshine and flowers all the time but it is definitely a worthwhile experience.

I am looking forward to doors that closes on me because there might be a back window that opens for me. Where it has an unobstructed view of a beautiful garden or a backyard with an amazing swing set that I would have never known if I just looked straight at the door.

And, it’s gonna be rough on me or on you, when that door closes, but it’s all about attitude. Life is too short to dwell on things that we can’t change, the world doesn’t stop for us, it doesn’t even take the time to pity us, it moves on. And, so do we. We don’t stop, we just continue to chase whatever dreams we have and someday, we will find that window and we’ll understand why it never worked out on those doors.

Some of us are lucky enough to be able to be what they’ve always wanted to be, while the rest of us, find ourselves in a different place. When we finally get to our destination, it will be a moment of great epiphany, and you and me, we’ll find ourselves saying, “this is where I’ve always been meant to be.”

Let’s hold on and let the universe conspire to make us who we are supposed to be and remember:

Stars

 

 

This post was inspired by the Daily Prompt: Window

Note to Self

Note to Self: Of Letting Go Gracefully

 

Some circumstances are not meant to happen to you. Sometimes, they pass by you at a very close distance, so close you can almost touch it. But it doesn’t happen to you, no matter how much you wanted it.

They will always be the “what ifs” of your life. You need to understand that sometimes, walking away from these things is the best thing you can do to yourself. They might be your what ifs, but behind those lost chances are memories waiting to happen. When you’re too focused on something, you lose sight of what is around.

Make it a daily routine to take a step back, for a moment, remove yourself from the present and take a look at your life. Choose your battles wisely, some battles are meant to be just the way they are while some are worth fighting for. Make sure you save enough energy to win the battles meant for you.

Grab opportunities you think will open new doors and learn to let go of things gracefully.